As a shy person, you are used to sitting back and letting others talk. You have some friends that know you well enough to know that you have opinions but you prefer keeping them to yourself most of the time. You only share your opinions with your longer-term friends that have known you forever. Your friends know you so well that they know you won’t voice your opinion.
You’re completely fine with not speaking up because you don’t like conflict. Shy and passive people, like yourself, don’t mind being quiet. That is until you hit that point. That point when someone has poked at you and pushed your buttons for far too long. Not only have they upset you, but their ignorance is starting to really grind your gears. You let them walk all over you this long, but enough is enough.
Unfortunately, you still don’t like conflict. You never have, and even though you’re irritated about this situation, you don’t know where to begin. You don’t want to be mean, but you also don’t want to be walked all over either. Your friends offer to stand up for you, but you know you have to fight your own battles. You are an independent, strong individual, aren’t you?
Well it’s time to gear up, and put on your tough-guy undies to confront your attacker. This person is messing with your Zen, and they need to knock it off. The first step is taking a deep breath, and preparing for the confrontation. Think about what you want to say in advance and prepare for what they could respond with. Use your words, and filter out any of the emotional clutter you might want to say. Emotional clutter can weaken your stance, and distract you from your goal. Having a mock conversation of what they could say in your head could help build your confidence. Having a higher level of confidence will benefit you.
Lastly, you must actually have the conversation. You can prepare for the conversation all you want, but you still need to actually confront the person. Confronting someone is uncomfortable and something no one ever really wants to do. Being a shy, passive person makes confrontations even more difficult. Just remember, you prepared for this and you need to stand up for yourself.
You have to confront people from time to time. It’s a part of life. The sooner you accept this, the better off you maybe. The more precise, and direct you are with your conversation, the better the outcome will be. You can’t go through life being walked on. You can be shy, passive, and respected. Your friends cannot always speak up for you; it’s time to speak up for yourself.